@houseofpea on twitter, @houseofpea.bsky.social on bluesky
CARLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
hi! i'm pea. read my biography.
i feel maternal towards her
i (peababy) was born on september 22nd. i almost wrote january for some reason. i was not born during the month of january.i was born in brazil. i still live in brazil. i love brazil. it is very difficult for me to engage in any sort of small talk without mentioning that i am from brazil at least once. but that's not about my childhood! you're here so i can talk about my childhood.my first fandom was SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, at age FOUR. yes, at four years old i had unrestricted access to the internet. i would, understandably, limit myself to portuguese fansites, which is where i developed unhealthy parasocial relationships with many fan comic writers. one of them was set during the brazilian military dictatorship and it had sonic characters fighting for democracy??? that's how i discovered brazil lived through a US-backed military coup and this is why i hate america.nothing particularly notable happened during my childhood, at least nothing i feel like sharing. so... click one of the other buttons. bye bye!
if you read things in gemma collins' voice they get funnier
one day i joined reddit. my favorite franchise was danganronpa. i was at the lowest point in my life. i don't know how i can live with myself. one day, i was invited to a discord server, by a redditor who seemed like a nice person.you know, that server irreversibly changed me. at first, everyone was WEIRD. not the fun kind of weird (how i imagine i am). it was the weird kind of weird. you had people unironically quoting 13/50. n-bombs flying around. weird and annoying danganronpa discourse about how you shouldn't make fun of characters someone in the server enjoys. it was bad. but i didn't really have anything better to do, so i just stayed there.eventually, all the weirdos either left or got banned. i've censored their names because they annoy me and i don't want them to see this and talk to me, but you know who you are. here's a list of people who pissed me off bad and i'm glad are out from my sight:
baseball fan who called antifa and BLM "terrorist organizations"
girl who was part of a throuple which later fell apart and led to her joker era where she unironically quipped "facts don't care about your feelings", came out as an aphobe and put her exes' names as DNIs on her carrd
canadian nazi sympathizer
unironic defender of "state-mandated girlfriends"
30 year old with a crippling foot fetish who bravely defended his right to... not use they/them pronouns i guess
irredeemably reddit-brained girl who complains trans women are too reddit-brained (call coming from inside the house)
guy who asked the mods if it was okay to have cum on his anime woman pfp
terminally annoying girl who was later ostracized by the pjsk fandom. i'm not touching that hornet's nest but she deserved the whacking
guy who could not prevent himself from saying the n-word in every conversation. he was not black.
"anti-sjw" 30 year old who cut a hole in her anime body pillow so she could put a dildo in it. belts exist. girl. GIRL.
guy who i accidentally bullied off twitter after i said we should kill all men. i don't even feel bad for this one
israeli guy defending his genocidal government
A FELLOW BRAZILIAN who was A RIGHT WING NUTJOB and WANTED TO BE MY FRIEND he stopped talking to me after i said fascism is bad lol
guy who left the server after seeing us use the word 'cracker' to attack white people
girl who dropped the n-bomb while we were using the word cracker to attack white people. later on we would discover she was caught jerking off during discord voice chats
guy with an unhealthy obsession over morgana from persona five to the point where he wished ryuji fans would die. not gonna lie i really enjoyed seeing him exist but also i kind of need him very very VERY far away from me
anyway, all those people? gone. away from this world. thank GOD. but anyway, with time, this server (known as... Wood Housing) fell apart. people were migrating en masse to a different server (Albania), a different server with like 40% overlap (Trinidad), and some just vanished idk where they are right now. the point is, that server is dead. AND I DON'T LIKE ANY OF THE OTHER ONESi mean, i guess it makes sense. so many years of Wood Housing were just filled with people we hated and who were genuinely irredeemably awful. so, I chose to migrate somewhere else. greener pastures!i picked up my things and i left. life goes on. i was a girlboss, and i had an empire to build.
"what do you mean, 'JUST' a girlboss? have women not learned to not reduce themselves?"
Wood Housing had fallen. Albania had nothing to offer me. neither did Trinidad.my first action was to move to Pokémon Showdown. everyone knows what that is. i thankfully secured the username of "a girlboss", and carved my own path playing metagames such as "STABmons" and "Mix and Mega" and "Inheritance", among many others. my natural charisma attracted many fans at this point. i was famous. well, famous is maybe too strong of a word, let's go with recognizable.and then i stopped playing LOL at some point i just got bored. pokémon started to suck. warping the rules couldn't really save it. i left the stage not with a round of applause, but with overwhelming silence. only a few of my loyal fans still react upon my arrival.around the same time, i went back to reddit. vowing to never touch any anime-adjacent media ever again, i turned to pop stars. this was my first time visiting a circlejerk subreddit, and i got the hang of it pretty quickly. around this time, i spawned some of my greatest hits: taylor swift/scooter braun necrophilia, the "outjerked" copypasta, a "choose your own story" adventure where i'm your therapist and you undergo shock therapy, among other quirky/deranged pieces here and there. again, eventually, i lost interest. the subreddit had to be closed down for a month, and so, i was alone again.when it eventually reopened, it was not the same. it was 1989 all over again. you know that book already, i won't bore you with a recap of it, especially because i never read it. but anyway, things were dire. so, i turned to the one media i swore to never touch:comic books.now, i know what you're thinking, this is despicable. i've made a few compromises to shield myself from the sweaty nerds: i would only read X-Men. just X-Men. my journey from 1975 to 2022 lasted six months, where I did nothing but read and read and read. when I was done, it was all I could think about. I'd lost the ability to hold normal conversations. i blame it on the pandemi, but still, it was a problem. to solve this, i joined another discord server, dedicated to an X-Men podcast. this was also my first time listening to a podcast, and it was surprisingly fun, but I won't be giving any chances to other podcasts like this.i am back to girlbossing in this new environment. women truly can do anything.
"you're like the gay porn sommelier" — my best friend
(nsfw text ahead, it's kinda mild. you've been warned.)i never stopped being a girlboss. you can never stop being a girlboss.
what you CAN do is evolve into a fujoshi.to many, fujoshism is a social disease, an activity to be shamed. little do they know, we carry the world on our backs. like that painting, women carrying f—oh, fine. i won't say that. but anyway, i'm not like other fujoshis.you know that level of fujoshism registered in 2012 tumblr? the one where if a show featured a man and a woman in a relationship, the fandom would harass and threaten that woman for daring to put herself right in the middle of their OTP?that's me. i'm that woman. i want a man who cheats on me with other men. i want to follow him to a cheap motel and see him cheat on me. i wanna see my boyfriend have hardcore gay sex. i wanna see my husband get his ass POUNDED. fandom is so cowardly they cannot imagine this as a way for their OTP to continue. yes, this does mean that i'm pro-cheating. if you're not a guy cheating on a girl with another girl, you are valid, and you should keep cheating. i would never cheat, but i'm an ally to the cause.anyway, i'm also not like other fujoshis because i don't play otome games, don't watch anime, don't read manga, none of that. i just watch gay porn. yes, because it's hot, but because it needs to be studied. it's an art form, and it deserves to be treated as such....well, at least some of it. FUCK men dot com, and FUCK next door studios, and FUCK your stupid fucking conglomerates spreading pure unfiltered garbage to people like me.
"BWWBWOBBBBBB" - pheromosa
(in reality these are just two songs from my 'favorites' playlist)
sources:
thanks for reading! ♥
whaddup i'm jared i'm nineteen and i never f
right. so. there's no other way to say this. since you clicked the "if you're insane" button (or have been driven to insanity) i can only assume you recognize how insane you are. so you forfeit your right to judge me on any of this.i mean... i don't blame you. i don't know how people can put up with me. i got diagnosed for ADD and i just went around telling everyone that i have ADD. so, if you feel like reading through this carrd was an assault on your mental fortitude, i'm genuinely sorry. if you were insane before you clicked this, i'm also sorry, but not as much.anyway, here's my kinlist:
Magneto
Emma Frost
Zephiel
Kotone Shiomi
Abigail Hobbs
👍
i... well... you see... this page was pretty much blank. i don't like leaving blank pages, and i think my kinlist is pretty self-explanatory in its composition (terrorist, bad bitch, terrorist, literally me, literally me).so... what now?it's not like... there's anything crazier to share? i already said i watch gay porn.maybe you should just leave. think about what you've just read. if you liked what you saw, i don't know, maybe give me a follow? i might follow back. this might scare you away and, you know, that's fine too. it happens!but you will be missing out on my radiant presence if you do that! so maybe don't go ♥
"trans grl pwrrr" no she didn't.
girl i have nothing more to tell you. like. there's... nothing more to say.like, i had this whole paragraph in here and it was the unfunniest thing i've ever written, it reminded me of this girl i stopped following (the aforementioned reddit-brained one) and it causes me mental turmoil to even think about her.look, you should go. when i find the courage to start up my gay porn review blog, you'll find the link right here, on this page. otherwise, just leave.
"There's only two types of people in the world" - Britney Jean Spears
okay since you're new here i should introduce myself maybe idk.hi i'm pea i'm from brazil i'm a STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUAL woman. i'm a fujoshi also. those are like the most important notable things to know about me.i love the x-men i'm incredibly addicted to their existence but this means i don't give a damn about the rest of the marvel universe. or DC. though i heard the joker loves batman (and i've seen it firsthand) which is awesome and i love that for them. before the x-men i don't wanna talk about it. it's a dark period of my life.anyway i also love pop music. i hate some artists and i pretend others don't exist. i'll list some so you know to avoid me, and you can guess which go in which groups:Taylor Swift, Bebe Rexha, any man (NO EXCEPTIONS), Ratmilla Cabello, I know I said "any man" but I'd like to accentuate that I hate Harry Styles, Rita Ora, Halsey, Felony Martinez, THAT rapper who surrounds herself with pdf files, Kim Petras after Dr. Luke collab number 100, the creature known as Doja Cat, Jesy Nelson, Anitta (who?)i think that's it actually i like everyone else to a degreeso after reading all that you can decide if you think you're normal or insane and find out even more about me.... byebye
ICY SPICY HEY... ICY SPICY